I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!
Why is a group of Uchiha not called the Sharingang?
Why?
Because they're all Sharing... GONE :)
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...
Tilted Towers is gone.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
ur dad is gone
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
We got a. Number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend’s gone down, I revived him now we’re heading southbound! Now we’re in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!
