Gone jokes

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

People's music when friends are around: *rock*

When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.

I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”

Your dad is gone.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?

Liam: I like you both.

Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to paris.

Mother: That's means you like dad more.

Liam: No, its because i like paris.

Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?

Liam: I will go to America.

Mother: Why?

Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.

A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.