God jokes
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l