This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Stephen Hawkings said there is no God 2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawkings
Ohh my god its a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin noseeee!!!!
God promised John that if he came 1st he would get an eternal life but instead he came 5th and got a kettle!
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Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something
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Why God did create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people, and less fun.
The only reason communism started was because god looked at your face
when god said let there be light he saw ur mum and said let there be dark
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Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B
What's the difference between a GOD and MY MOM. My mom exists. I mean.. she did at one point! unlike any "GODS".
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god" Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld"
Mother: "Yeah I picked you up at the giftshop on my way out" Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan"
this guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to god please let me out it is too cold in here god is all confused there is a big fire in there the guy answers yes there is but you cannot get near it all the bishops cardinals and priests are sitting around it
Orphan: I finally have a father! God: And who is that? Orphan: You! God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me. Orphan: :l
Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
one night a father heard his daugter saying good night good night mom god night dad good night mamah good by papa the next day her papa died he heard her saying them a month later good night mom god night dad good by mamah the next day her mamah died well her dad was scared for his life he knew he was next well his daugter said them again good night mom good by dad the next day the mail man droped dead on their porch.
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A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment...
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole...it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
