God jokes
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Memes
Boys Vs Girls (oh god another reminder of the robbie incident)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.