God jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

Girl: "Daddy!"

Father: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"

Father: "Mhm!"

Woman: "Daddy?"

Father: "Of course?"

Woman: "I'm a girl too!"

Father: "Does God love children?"

Boy: "Yessss..."

You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.

When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

Hodor.

Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?

God chose Plan B.