God jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
The only reason communism started was because God looked at your face.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.