God jokes
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
God: βStephen, join us!β
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: βShit!β
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Memes
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!π
Me thinking it's a gift from God: π΄οΈπ
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ainβt dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some π‘ awareness that we can understand you π― meanwhile we laugh at you π€‘ We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this π *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. Lπk at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE π» I promise we ainβt ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
Stephen Hawking said God isnβt real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. πππ
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...