God

God jokes

Teacher

    • Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.

    Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

    And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.

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    Skele Ton

    • You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

    Sans: "Sub bro."

    Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

    Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

    Sans: "A skele-ton."

    (Drum effect)

    Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

    Rainbow

    • What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

    One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

    (Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

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    God memes

    Friend

    • My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

    Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

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    Teacher

    • In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.

    Deaf people

    • Dear Hearing People,

    We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

    Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

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    Owner

    • A fat man coming in the store.

    Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

    Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

    Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

    Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

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    Woman

    • Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

    Nun

    • Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

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