This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back
(Set up joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down ..."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. -- I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Q: why can't orphans be on a football team? A: because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby? When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them. He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
so the teacher go up to you and says im going to call your parents me: good luck finding them
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression... Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
