Go jokes
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?