Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
Go Jokes
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
What is more time-consuming than children?
Waiting for your wife to go into labor!
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
