A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town. He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.” The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever bc is obscene or offensive, it’s just a bad joke) Why can’t u hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because their dead
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
You should go soul searching maybe you'll find one
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to go check my garage, it’s all good bc I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food
i was going to think of a good amputee joke... but i’m stumped.
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I love going to church to get closer to god, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis
Crying babies are like parties, No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences and return to school the next day. When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call so he angrily shouted at the child “Shut up you Donkey!” The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom who assumed that he wanted to play video games so she said “No my dear, tomorrow.” That was his second sentence. For the third sentence he went to his older brother who was watching football where someone scored a goal so he was jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” For the fourth sentence he went to his sister who was singing “Spider-Man Spider-Man!”. For the last sentence he went to his grandmother who was cleaning the toilet and singing “Under the toilet, under the toilet”. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, “Shut up you Donkey!” The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, “Do you want me to slap you?” The boy said, “No my dear, tomorrow.” This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately he started jumping up and down yelling “Goal! Goal!” The teacher dragged him to the principal’s office as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was to which he replied by singing “ Spider-Man Spider-Man!” She asked him where he lived so he sang “Under the toilet, under the toilet”.
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Your hairline be going up and down like a formula 1 car
My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
I asked my friend "shouldn't we have 6 senses?" he replied "what is the 6th sense?" "common sense" I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention" never mind" I said.
bro go work at Mc Donalds your hairline inspired their logo
Why did the AI go to school? To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"! Ha Ha Ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy fellow humans.
your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you
what did the Indians say to the aribs "we are going to make 10/12"
