What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they cant go home
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Go to and orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
