Girls jokes

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.

Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

Girls are whores.

Ti girls yiman nyan kuni karhata Nina munh.

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

Because they’ll get stoned.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.

Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Why did the girl not eat her dinner?

because she has an eating disorder.

A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

What do gay girls order in a bar?

Pussy juice.