Girls Jokes

I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

Girl: You are gay.

Boy: Who says I’m gay?

Girl: You ARE GAY!

Boy: You are lesbian.

Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

Why did the penis go fly?

Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.