Girl jokes

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?

Legs.

Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!

Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

My brother when he sees a girl.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.

Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.

Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅

Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

When I was very young...

My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.

They are rapists now.

These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"

The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"

Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."