Get jokes

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!