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How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?