Get jokes
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.