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Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.