Get jokes

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"