Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male if you did not like it when you were a teenager you probably will not like it when you become an adult
me: i have depression
someone: u should get out more! go outside
me: *goes to the beach* now its a tropical depression
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
How are apples and orphans different? Apples get picked
when you get mad just punch a orphan who are they going to tell their mom
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. his mom did too.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can i have some milk?" He waited for three hours to get an answer. His mom finally said: "No your dad still isn't back with it."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
IDK
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
Dark humour is like food, not everyone gets it
me: im home ma heres her with a new dad her: go hang wit someone :me gets the noose goes to fav tree i love you ma 🙂
what does an orphan and a bananna have in common? They both get split up.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
what is the difference between a apple and a orphan? a apple gets picked.
See, morbid humour is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What time is it when you get home can you walk walk home and walk
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?
Doctor 👩⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor 👩⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business
