Get jokes
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the emo cross the road?
To not get to the other side.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.