Get jokes
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
What do Christians and gays have in common?
They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.