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How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?

They both get paid to eat 200 balls!

What happens at night in Bangladesh?

It gets Dhaka.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.