Get jokes

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.