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Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Necrophilia

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Trip

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Memes

Orphan

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

Girl

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Orphan

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Foreskin

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Suicide hotline

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

Orphan

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

Pool

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Sister

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

Gene

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.