Get jokes
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Memes
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.