Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Get Jokes
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
