Get jokes
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Memes
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.