Get jokes

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

What is the similarity between orphans and apples?

They both get thrown out.

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?

De-presso.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"