Get jokes
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.