What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
