Get jokes
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?
They never get to home!
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D