Get jokes

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?

Go through the dumbbell door.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

What do bees do when they get married?

They go on a honeymoon.

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?

Cause that's the only way they get love.

How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?

A blender.

How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?

A straw.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women.

How do you get 1 million followers?

You run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To finally get his milk.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.