Get jokes
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Barney
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
How do you get 1 million followers?
You run through Africa with a bottle of water.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.