Get jokes
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!