Get jokes
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Memes
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his ICE checked.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...
Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."