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What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
Getting ready for gangbang.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.