Get jokes

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?

Breakfast in bed!

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

Why did the boy get run over?

Sally was driving.

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”

What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.

Why do orphans bully people?

Because they can't get suspended.

Contact Parent _______

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.