Get jokes

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?

Me.

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Because I'm a beta male simp.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?

Grounded beef.

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

Then you get the name Chrisa.

If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.