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What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?
He was scared to get across.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.