Get jokes
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.