Get jokes
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered Domino's and got "gets".
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.