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When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Why didn’t the Japanese guy get a high five? Cause Logan Paul left him hanging...
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
I keep getting ads about belly fat.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!