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Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.