Get jokes
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
Why did Sally get a black eye? Because she decided to play football.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.