Get jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!