Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Roses are red, oranges are orange. Get a life, quit watching porn.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Ur mamma is so dumb she went the the dentist to get Bluetooth
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
DId you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
pov them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed.
her. all you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang you get me
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
