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A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.
Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"
Poettschke: "Please get away from me."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.
Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.