I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles ' N Bits!!
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Have a pregnant lady murders someone does the child get an assist
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted Nothing much I just decided to go home
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
