Gas jokes
Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
Uranus is a gas giant.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
I farted. LOL.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
Poopy, farty, pee.
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.