Uranus is a gassy planet.
Poopy, farty, pee.
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
