Game jokes
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? So they can at least build a home.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Don't mess with me
