Game jokes
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.