Furniture jokes

Why do tables never need wheelchairs? Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?

Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.

What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

What's a chair's favorite snack?

Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.

What is the chair's favorite person?

A sit-izen.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

What's an orphan's favorite store?

Ashley Home Store.

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.

What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.

I’m sorry, Chairy, but I don’t need four more legs.

Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.

Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

A: Flip the chair upside down.

What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

The second nightstand.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.