Furniture jokes
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Memes
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
Drawers!
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.