Furniture jokes
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Memes
Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
Drawers!
Yo mama so fat she needs to sit on 2 chairs.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.