Funny jokes
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
Sex is like math.
You add a bed.
Subtract the clothes.
Divide the legs.
And pray you don’t multiply.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.