Funny jokes

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."

Ok.

"Thank you, what is your wish?"

I wish for my 5 cents back.

...

Welcome to Mississippi.

Hahaha, you have no PP!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?

It becomes a flee market.

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!

9/11 jokes aren’t funny.

They always crash and burn.