Funny jokes
Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
Welcome to Mississippi.
Hahaha, you have no PP!
I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star, and Tati Westbrook have gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash. I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Okay here's your funny joke!
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has "Star" at the end doesn't mean he is best.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"