Funny jokes

When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.

Al-gebra.

When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.

We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.

Who is Joe?

You reply back: Who is Candice?

They reply back: Who is Candice?

You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."

What is a Russian joke?

Something that will be funny for Russian people.

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."