What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
what do they call me when i jack off pulled pork
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
