Funny jokes
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."