Funny jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

Spell "I cup." It's funny.

What was the orphan's name?

Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Hi guys!

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!

What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!

What is a frog's favorite drink?

Croaka-cola!

What instrument can a skeleton never play?

An organ.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

What do you do when a woman is choking?

Back up a couple inches.

Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why did the carrot roll down the hill?

Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.