Funny

Funny jokes

Genie

    • Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

    The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

    The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

    The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

    The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

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    • Cheese

    • What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

    "That's nacho cheese!"

    Funny memes

    Wheelchair

    • A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

    He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

    The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

    On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

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    • Dog

    • A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

    "What are you doing all day?"

    "Knot a lot."

    Swing

    • Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

    Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

    Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

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    • Story

    • So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

    So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

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    • Child

    • What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

    Not funny, here’s another.

    Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

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