Funny jokes
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Very funny battery joke.
my cat
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Rape jokes aren't funny.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Innit.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again? Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.