What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
My sister's name is Coco, and one day she was funny, so I told her, "You coconut."
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
What do u call a 3 humped camel Answer:a prostitute from new York 😂😂ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ’€
