Full jokes
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
If museums are full of dead things... Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.