Full jokes

A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.

The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"

There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.

Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.

A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

A: A suicide bomber.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Why is Santa's sack always full?

Because he only comes once a year.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house looks like.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠

A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

What's black and yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of orphans.