Full jokes

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"

You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of children.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

What do KFC and a brothel have in common?

They’re both full of greasy chicks.

What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.

A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.

What is long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine.

What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?

A seizure salad.

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

If museums are full of dead things...

Then why aren't there any memes inside them?