Full

Full jokes

Nun

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

Plane

Tonight, on Top Gear!

James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!

Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!

And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

Camel

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.
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  • Dick

    Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

    He took 33 pills a month (5433).

    Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

    (Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

    Doorknob

    I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

    Bus

    What's yellow and can't swim?

    A bus full of children.

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  • Madeline McCann

    What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?

    Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!

    Drink

    A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

    Brothel

    What do KFC and a brothel have in common?

    They’re both full of greasy chicks.

    Baby

    What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

    I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

    Chopper

    A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.

    A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

    I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

    Midget

    What do you call a Mexican midget?

    A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.

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