Full jokes
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What does the Catholic Church and Worstjokesever.com have in common?
They're both full of child groomers.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.