I walked into a room full of men masturbating. -- They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
The optimist think the glass is half full The pessimist think the glass is half empty The feminist think the glass is raping them
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
A starving homeless kid ask me for food
I said "sorry,my plate is full"
(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.
Why wasn’t the moon 🌕 hungry?
Because it was full!
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
“So I asked Genie if he could grant me this wish, I wished to be like Michael Jackson, the next day I was in a playground full of little kids.”
Q- What do you call a shed full of black fellas. A- Retired Farming Machinery
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment? Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n Jealousy! 😂
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... i forgot i was in the cemetery
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes, and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
There was once a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe While dreaming of Venus He played with his penis And awoke with a hand full of goo
what does Joe Biden call a room full of kids, a toy room.
