Fruit jokes

What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?

Because it never runs out of juice.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?

Answer: They both hang.

What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?

Fruit cake.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.