Fruit jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple got chosen.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.