Fruit jokes
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked. Lel. I hope you guys like this joke.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.