Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
