What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? A cherry float.
When God made Chinese he said "DON'T LOOK!" and the chinese said "why?" and God replied "You wont want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man he said "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES" and the white man said "Why?" and God replied "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said "there is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the holocaust said "all these europeans killed each other so a white genocide is accurate, white killed white"
Then the Chinese said "thank you we take your land now"
And the Jews said "but we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said "yes every time God show up you get bullied! you might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said "why are you chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the chinese said "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so dont go looky looky at the world then"
It turned out the chinese are very obediant to God.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell em for double the price!
What do you call a crazy lesbian? Fruit Loops.
3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
Rose's are red lemons are sour spread your legs give me an hour
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces cum in pears
what falls first from a tree an apple or and emo? the apple.. the emo just hangs there
what do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit ninja
You're so skinny, you can hoola-hoop with Fruit loops
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock? Glockomole
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't."
what do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What does an apple company and an orphanage have that are different. Apples actually get picked.... Unlike little Timmy here.... He’s been here for 16 years..
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey
