Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
What do u call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
How do you open a banana :answer with a mon-key
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What so depressed teenagers and fruits have In common? They both Hang by something
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
