Fruit jokes
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?
They hang from trees.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.